Florida's Gators

Greetings from Florida, Land of the Gators! I actually have run into a few alligators so far and the locals seem to be completely unafraid on them. They'll do watersports in Gator-infested waters and even swim along side the beasts for fun! Now I assumed that the risk of being attacked must be extremely low and the american crocodile is more likely to attack and kill. For the most part I was right, but after a little research I discovered some disturbing facts. Fatal alligator attacks on humans have increased over the years. In fact, 11 people were killed by alligators in the five years between 2001 and 2006. That kind of frightens me. But alas! People take risks everyday: surfing with great whites, swimming with gators, driving, flying, you name it. I just think people need to be more aware of the risks and know what to do when danger strikes!

The Plot

There is an evil plot at work. It's quite clear that someone wants me dead. I'm unsure why. Let me explain. While eating lunch at The Cheesecake Factory just the other day, I found a lone piece of asparagus in my four-cheese pasta. Now for those of you who don't already know, I am deathly allergic to asparagus and have visited the ER quite a few times because of it. Now what makes this plot even more incredible is that this is not the first time this has happened. I keep discovering random pieces of asparagus in dishes that have absolutely nothing to do with asparagus! So I have concluded that some disgruntled employee at The Cheesecake Factory wishes my death. So if you are reading this right now, I deeply apologize for anything I have done to offend you and if you truly want to kill me, let's take it out back and at least have a fair fight. I'll have my Samurai sword ready.